Baptism by Fire

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My heart hurt screaming

Lemon Seeds in open wounds

Citrus and cuts and confusion

Impregnated with roots embedded in the dirty flesh of my insides

It grew there

a yellow blonde Lemon Tree

Beautiful and growing steadily

Blue eyes and empty skylines

An infant growing into a yellow blonde and leafy human being

It was glory

It was mayhem

and as the Lemon Tree grew there pitted in my gut

While I heaved and spat and screamed

In need of an exorcism I was burning fire and yellow

Blonde possession all aflame in my fury

I waxed and never waned

Only relentless fiery light tossing in spats of flame off the sunlight

I was burning

He left

And when all was lost and I couldn’t breathe through the flames

I was afraid

I clung to him because he was everything to me

Lemons clinging frail

Twigs snapping here and there and vanishing quickly into smoke

In the burning mass of sticks and twigs and leaves

All piled, sown, charring in the dirt

After darkness, rape, broken glass and shredded lives and tears

I hated him then

I loathed him and loved him still

He broke me, I confess

And I admit, I was afraid

The flames sent me wielding, screaming, running ablaze through darkness

All possessed with witchcraft running violently

Flailing through outdoor places

Dirt roads and forests and fire

But I couldn’t run

I sat burning

A rooted lemon tree

Nothing worse

Than fire

And fury

And mayhem

The sun aglow and constantly burning, burning, burning

I was not a glowing, melting vat of flesh being charred all over in screaming anguish and

lost love

But my heart screamed for him

And burning, wielding, I wanted to run

Blindly

For a while

Sitting in those ashen remnants of charred existence

After the Lemon Tree was not burning anymore

She grew into those blue eyes and twigs

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